Draft:I-it's not like I wanted to make these esolangs or anything!
I-it's not like I wanted to make these esolangs or anything! is an esoteric programming language by User:AnalysisOfVariance in 2026.
Overview
I-it's not like I wanted to make these esolangs or anything! uses three sub-languages.
16
16 is a basic stack-based language. It was named that purely to make Esofish implementors question it.
The program actually works based on the area of rectangles modulo 17. The execution direction finds a connecting rectangle but prioritizes (lowest to highest priority) down, left, up, then right.
A rectangle is defined as a set of characters (EXCLUDING WHITESPACE) like this:
======== ======== ####### ####### ####### a (yes, this is a 1x1 rectangle) a a a a a aaaaa aaaaa aaaaa aaaaa
If multiple rectangles join in one direction like this:
0000##########3333333 1111111122222222
Then the priority is nondeterministic.
| Area (mod 17) | Description |
|---|---|
| 0 | Prints "You'll have to get through me first." with a trailing newline. |
| 1 | Prints "Why are you doing this?" with a trailing newline. |
| 2 | Pushes 2 to the stack. |
| 3 | Pops from the stack twice and pushes them in the same order that they were pushed. |
| 4 | Pops two values from the stack and pushes their sum. |
| 5 | Pops a value from the stack and pushes it multiplied by -1. |
| 6 | Prints 6 without a newline. |
| 7 | Prints 7 without a newline. |
| 8 | Pops two values from the stack and pushes their product. |
| 9 | Pops a value from the stack and if it is zero, flips the prioritization to (lowest to highest priority) right, up, left, then down. |
| 10 | Pops the top of the stack and outputs it as an integer. |
| 11 | Pops the top of the stack and outputs it modulo 256 as a byte. |
| 12 | Halt. |
| Inter-operation | |
| 13 | Pop the top of the stack and enqueue it to the output queue to Laxative. |
| 14 | Pop the top of the stack and enqueue it to the output queue to Axiom. |
| 15 | Dequeue a value from the input queue from Laxative and push it to the stack. This hangs until there is a value to receive |
| 16 | Dequeue a value from the input queue from Axiom and push it to the stack. This hangs until there is a value to receive. |
Laxative
Laxative is also another stack-based language.
| Command | Description |
|---|---|
|
|
| Inter-operation | |
|
|
Axiom
Axiom is yet another stack-based language. It is the most complicated language in this trio and is themed around spamming "Q.E.D." for some reason.
| Command | Description |
|---|---|
|
|
| Inter-operation | |
Proof <number>
<code>
Q.E.D.
|
An asynchronous handler that runs whenever any of the input queues receive the specified integer. |
Computational class
If one were to use even 2 of their brain cells, they would see that 16, Laxative, and Axiom are all push-down automata. However, the computational class of I-it's not like I wanted to make these esolangs or anything! is currently unknown.
Examples
16
Print User:Dragoneater67's favorite number
It's a top hat since it's such a cool number!
### ### ======= ###### ######
A+B Problem
The inputs must be pre-loaded.
#### =========== ###### ######
